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"So you admit it!"
"But I had no intention of doing it," O'Leary amplified, struggling to force his
throbbing head to function effectively. "I intended to head in the opposite direction,
and "
"And lingered a bit too long about the scene of your dastardly abduction!" the captain
snarled. "Very well, fetch rope, men! His dangling corpse will serve as a warning to
others!"
"Wait!" Lafayette shouted. "I give up, you're too smart for me. I'll. . . I'll talk!"
"Very well." The captain jabbed him. "Talk!"
"Well, let's see ... where shall I begin," O'Leary stalled.
"Start with when Lou had to step into the bushes," the sergeant suggested.
"Yes, well, as soon as Lou stepped into the bushes, I, ah ..."
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"You hit him over the head, right?" a trooper contributed.
"Right. And then, er . . ."
"Then when we held up and sent a couple guys back to see what was taking Lou so
long, you bopped them on the knob too, right?"
"That's it "
"And then, while the rest of us was beating the brush for the boys which they hadn't
come back, you nips in and whisks her Ladyship away from under the nose of Les, which
he was holding the nags, right?"
"Who's telling this, you or me?" O'Leary inquired tartly.
"So where is she now?"
"How do I know? I was busy hitting Lou over the head and whisking around under
Les's nose, remember?"
"How come you know the boys' names? You been casing this job a long time, hey?"
"Never mind that, Quackwell," the captain barked. "We're wasting time. The lady's
whereabouts, you, or I'll stretch your neck i' the instant!"
"She's she's at the hunting lodge of Lorenzo the Lanky!"
"Lorenzo the Lanky? And where might this lodge be found?"
"It's, er, right up this trail a few miles."
"Liar," the officer barked. "This road leads nowhere save to the chateau of milady's
Aunt Prussic!"
"Are you sure of that?" Lafayette shot back.
"Certainly. Milady herself so informed me."
"Well, your intelligence apparatus needs overhauling," Lafayette snapped. "It's the talk
of the locker rooms that Lorenzo the Lanky lives up this way. Or maybe Lochinvar or
is it Lothario? ..."
"I fail to grasp the import of your slimy innuendos, varlet," the captain said in a deadly
tone. "Wouldst have me believe that milady deliberately misled me? That she in fact had
arranged some clandestine rendezvous with this Lorenzo, here in the depths of the
Chantspels?"
"It wouldn't be very clandestine, with a dozen pony soldiers hanging around," O'Leary
pointed out.
"You mean you think she ditched us on purpose?" The N.C.O. scowled ferociously.
"Use your heads," Lafayette said. "If I'd taken her, do you think I'd leave her and come
nosing back around here, just so you could catch me?"
"Enough of your vile implications, knave!" the captain barked. "Stand back, men! I'll
deal with this blackguard!"
"Hey, hold it, Cap," the sergeant said, tugging at his forelock. "Begging the captain's
pardon, but what the guy says makes sense. It was her Ladyship that said we ought to go
back and look for Whitey and Fred, right?"
"Yeah, and also, come to think about it, I never heard before about her having no aunt
living out in the boondocks," a trooper added.
"Preposterous," the captain said in a tone lacking in conviction. "Her Ladyship would
never thus cozen me, her faithful liegeman, in such fashion!"
"I dunno, Cap. Dames. Who knows from dames, what they might do?"
"Mind your tongue!" The captain yanked at his tunic with a decisive gesture. "I'll soil
my ears with no more of the knave's preposterous inventions. On with the hanging!"
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"Now, don't be hasty, fellows," O'Leary yelled. "I'm telling you the truth! Lady
Andragorre is probably just a few miles ahead; we ought to be galloping to overtake her
instead of standing around here arguing!"
"He seeks to mislead us!" the captain snapped. "Doubtless milady lies trussed where
he left her, mere yards from this spot!"
"He's out of his skull!" Lafayette protested. "He's afraid to go after her! This is just an
excuse to muddy the waters and turn back!"
"Enough! Prepare the criminal for execution!"
"Wait!" Lafayette cried as the noose dropped around his neck. "Can't we settle this like
gentlemen?"
A sudden silence fell. The sergeant was looking at the captain, who was frowning
blackly at O'Leary.
"You demand the treatment accorded a gentleman? On what grounds?"
"I'm Sir Lafayette O'Leary, a a charter member of the National Geographic Society!"
"Looks like he's got something, Cap," the sergeant said. "With credentials like them,
you can't hardly accord the guy short shrift."
"He's right," Lafayette said hastily. "I'm sure that on sober reflection you can see it
wouldn't look at all well if you lynched me."
" 'Tis a parlous waste of time," the captain growled. "But very well.
Remove the rope."
"Well, I'm glad we're all going to be friends," Lafayette said. "Now, I "
"Out pistols!"
"Wha what are you going to do with those?" Lafayette inquired as the troopers
unlimbered foot-long horse pistols, busied themselves with flint and priming.
"Take up your stance against yon tree, sir knight," the captain barked. "And be quick
about it. We haven't got all night!"
"Y-you mean this tree?" Lafayette half-stumbled over gnarly roots. "Why? What. . . ?"
"Ready, men! Aim!"
"Stop!" O'Leary called in a cracking voice. "You can't shoot me!"
"You demanded a gentleman's death, did you not? Aim "
"But you're not going to fire from that range?" Lafayette protested. "I thought you
fellows were marksmen!"
"We took first place in the police tournament last June," the sergeant stated.
"Why don't I just move back a little farther?" Lafayette suggested. "Give you a chance
to show your skill." He backed ten feet, bumped another tree.
"Ready!" the captain called. "Aim "
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