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want. Don t you know that?
He didn t dare look up, didn t even wait for a reply, just let the words come tumbling out of him in a
torrent. You are how I knew I was gay& why I knew I could never want any woman. Because of how
badly I wanted you, all the way back in high school. I never got to tell you that, we were separated too
soon& Hayden kept his eyes shut tight, just letting the words spill out, vaguely aware that tears now
streamed down his cheeks, dampening Josh s hands that he still held tight against his face. I mean, you
figured out that I wanted you, I could never hide that, obviously. But the way I wanted you, it was like a
fever, even when I was just sixteen years old. While the other guys were all after some girl or another, it
was you I thought about all the time. Damn, being on the football team with you, playing baseball together,
and seeing you naked in the showers? Watching you change clothes in the locker room, and burning for
you but not being able to do a damned thing about it? It was enough to make me crazy. That s why I picked
Dartmouth so far from our own land because I thought maybe then I could find a way to forget you.
Find a way to get past my fever. Hayden laughed softly. God, I actually believed those thousands of
miles between us would help. That they would succeed in driving you from my mind, my heart. Hayden
shook his head slowly. None of it ever did any good. You were inside me, down deep in my bones, living
in my skin right along with me. You always have been& you still are. You ll always be inside of me,
beating like my own heart, flowing like my own blood. That s what a mate does. It s who you are to
me& the best of me.
Slowly he dared to tilt his head upward and look at Josh, praying that he would glimpse forgiveness,
see that Josh believed in his love. As he did so, Josh dropped down to his own knees, pressing his forehead
against Hayden s. For a moment, neither spoke, and then Josh moved his face slightly, until they were
cheek to cheek, and he slid strong, muscular arms about Hayden.
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Cooper Davis
Did it ever occur to you, Josh whispered into his ear, that if you d stuck around Jackson, you
might ve made me fall in love with you sooner? Josh kissed him slowly on the cheek, moving his mouth
back to Hayden s ear as he added, And if you d just kissed me the first time we went on that run together
after your freshman year, I d have followed you all the way back to New Hampshire and nothing would ve
ever kept me away.
Hayden buried his face against Josh s shoulder, feeling the rough starch of his uniform. I loved
you& while I was in prison. I was just crazy in love with you, Joshua. Even after I got out, I still loved you,
but I didn t understand why I d fallen so much harder than before. Why my fever had grown when all I
could remember was that kiss.
You didn t know we d mated, couldn t remember any of it.
Hayden closed his eyes, hating what he was about to ask, but he had to. Why didn t you tell me the
truth? Why didn t you come to me, soon as I was out of the coma, and make me remember everything?
Josh tightened his arms around him, holding him even closer. Hayden could feel the rapid rhythm of
his mate s heart, sensed its tempo increase as he answered, Do you remember the men? Rawlings and
Keener? Do you recall seeing them dump that body& any of it?
Hayden sucked in a tight breath. Josh, I remember it all. I remember& everything.
Josh stiffened against him, a small shudder echoing through his body. And he hated the shame that he
sensed in his mate. It s okay, Hayden soothed softly. It s all right, Joshua. I only regret that I couldn t
protect you& that I didn t. A mate always protects his beloved.
Josh released him, leaning back on his heels with a long, penetrating gaze. That is exactly why I
didn t tell you the truth about us. That is why I let you go to prison. It was the only place where I could be
sure they wouldn t try and harm you. If you were locked away, you were locked away from them, from
their gang. Or at least that s what I hoped& even though I knew they might have people in there, too.
We could have gone after them together, gotten our packs together.
Josh shook his head forcefully, but said nothing.
Seriously, Josh, we could have taken them down& you didn t have to suffer so much by yourself.
You bore all of it on your own shoulders
Tate Rawlings came to me the first night you were in the hospital. He told me that if I ever told
anything about that night if I ever told you the truth when you woke up that he d kill you himself. That
if I talked to the police, he would go up to the intensive care ward and make sure your life support was
disconnected& that if you woke and left the hospital, he d hunt you down. That he d have someone else do
the deed if I put him in prison by talking. He made one thing one very definite point abundantly clear,
and repeated it until I put him away& that he would see you dead if the truth ever came out. Josh raked a
trembling hand over his brow. That s why I said you were the one driving, even though you weren t.
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Bound by Nature
You see, Hayden, I didn t care about what he did to me. It was you. I didn t want him to touch you
ever again, not like he d touched me& not to end your life. Nothing. I would die myself to prevent it, and in
a way, I did. Until I knew they were both behind bars and that I had a chance of winning you back, I was
stone cold dead inside. Those five years, knowing what I d done to your future, knowing that you believed
I d set you up& living without you& it was worse than I could have imagined. I felt, in a lot of ways, that I
truly was dead.
Hayden reached forward, pulling Josh into his arms. You re not alone anymore. You ll never be
alone again. Whatever happens to us& it happens to both of us. Never alone again. You ve got to promise
me that. Whatever comes our way& good or bad, we face it together.
After a moment, Josh released a long, slow sigh. As if he d unshouldered a great burden, as if a
soothing sense of peace were settling over him. I want you to know something, Josh said softly. It s
important that you know& I never slept with anyone else. I ve been totally faithful to you.
Hayden suddenly remembered all those women from the bars, the ones he d seen Josh kissing and
cruising around with. Josh seemed to follow his thoughts because he said, I had to keep some pretty rough
company while doing undercover work. You saw that, I know& because I saw you watching sometimes.
I was insanely jealous of those women, Hayden admitted, holding Josh even tighter. I wanted to
climb the fucking walls whenever I saw you with anyone.
A mate s possessiveness, Josh agreed, nuzzling him.
How d you handle knowing I was supposedly single? That I thought I was? Hayden asked, cringing
as he thought of the fact that he had taken occasional lovers since their last time together. Nobody special;
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