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ratios of the trajectory of the ball as it leaves the quarterbacks hand,
compensated with the downward acceleration of the gravitational pull of the
earth?" he suggested.
Flynn stared at the board. "Maybe," he said finally. "But I was going to say
that it works because the other guys are way down here."
"That makes sense, too," said Elmer generously.
"Okay," said Mr. Carson. "We'll have a light practice tomorrow I want
everybody to be at a hundred percent for Saturday."
"We won't let you and the coach down, Mr. Carson," said Bruno earnestly,
"will we, guys?"
"NO!!" bellowed twenty-six voices.
"That's my team!" said Carson emotionally. "So grab some zucchini sticks,
men, and have a good night."
The zucchini wagon was at the door, bells ringing.
Myron looked surprised. "But Mr. Carson, don't you know what we did with the
last ?"
Two hands clamped heavily over Myron's open mouth. Dave Jackson and Pete
Anderson, one lifting under each arm, hoisted him up and carried him out of
the house, pausing only to receive three plates of zucchini sticks at the
door. Bruno flashed them the thumbs-up signal.
***
Mr. Sturgeon walked across the campus in the direction of the dormitories. He
disliked what he was about to do, but do it he must. There was a rumor
circulating that Elmer Drimsdale was harboring some sort of animal, and the
rumor had reached the ears of Miss Hildegarde, the school nurse. That tattling
Blankenship boy had no doubt started it all. And now the Headmaster was forced
to finish it. Personally he had nothing against Elmer keeping animals for his
scientific studies. But rules were rules, and Miss Hildegarde had been
extremely adamant on the phone. Still, interfering with Drimsdale's
experiments always seemed like a crime against science.
He entered Dormitory 2, approached the door of room 201, and knocked.
"It's not locked," came a voice that was definitely not Drimsdale's. "Step
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right up. Bring 'em all in. They're eating them faster than we can stuff them
in the cage."
Mr. Sturgeon entered to see Bruno, Boots, and Elmer on their hands and knees
around a large cage, feeding zucchini sticks to four furry gray-brown
creatures.
Not looking away from the cage, Bruno stretched out his hand towards the
newcomer. "Come on. Hand over your plate. We haven't got all night, you know."
"Good evening, Walton O'Neal Drimsdale."
All three scrambled to their feet.
"S-S-Sir," stammered Bruno. "What a surprise!"
"I see you've restaffed the Zucchini Disposal Squad," said the Headmaster
with some amusement. "What on earth are they?"
"They're Manchurian bush hamsters, sir," said Elmer, "an endangered species.
I'm attempting to make them reproduce."
The door burst open, and Larry and Wilbur entered. "Okay, we've got two more
plates of garbage Mr. Sturgeon " Wilbur barely whispered. "Uh we were
just uh leaving, and uh good-bye." The two put down their plates and
fled.
Mr. Sturgeon stared in amazement at the huge stack of empty Mr. Zucchini
plates, and then at the four little bush hamsters in the cage. "Well,
Drimsdale, I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. Would you prefer that
Walton and O'Neal leave us?"
"It's no problem, Elm," said Bruno. "We could come back later and you could
tell us then."
"That won't be necessary," said Elmer bravely. He turned to the Headmaster.
"This has something to do with my bush hamsters, sir?"
"I fear so, Drimsdale. And I tell you honestly that I hate to do this. I find
it commendable that you wish to save this species from extinction. But too
many people know about this already, and keeping animals in this room is very
clearly against the rules. You will have to move them elsewhere." He glared
down the wide smile of inspiration on Bruno's face. "No, Walton. This includes
your room and anyone else's room. And it also includes the rooms of any of the
young ladies across the road, sincewe do not go there anymore . Am I right?"
This time it was the Headmaster's turn to smile. "Now, Drimsdale, you may have
a day or so to try and find another home for your bush hamsters. But if you
cannot, perhaps you had better return them to their owners."
"Yes, sir," said Elmer.
***
Cathy hit the eject button, and out popped Boots's recording of the team
meeting. It was Friday, the night before the big game. Earlier, she had
retrieved the cassette from where Bruno and Boots had hidden it in the
Macdonald Hall bushes by the roadside.
"Well, do you know it yet?" asked Diane sarcastically. "You've only listened
to it three times."
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"We're as ready as we're ever going to be," said the quarterback of the
Macdonald Hall Warriors. "My first game! I've never been this excited in my
life!"
"What was all that growling on the tape? Or was someone watching 'Valley of
the Dinosaurs' in the next room?"
"Oh," said Cathy airily, "that was The Beast, one of our players. Cute little
guy. Calvin Somebody."
Diane swallowed hard. "Cathy, I know how much you love football, and I know
you're fantastic, but are you sure you want to go through with this?"
"Of course I'm sure! You think I've done all this work so I cannot play?"
"But Cathy, this isn't practice where they know you're a girl! This is a
whole other team just itching to knock somebody's brains out! And as the
quarterback, you're target number one!"
Cathy made a face. "Look, Diane, you've been listening to Miss Scrimmage for
so long that you've started believing all that stuff about how young ladies
are delicate flowers that fall apart at the slightest touch. Sure, I might not
be as strong as some of those guys, but the big ones are the slow ones, and
with any luck, I can stay out of their way. Okay, the team isn't great, but
we've been working like crazy. And linemen protect the quarterback, whether
she's a girl or not."
Diane sat down on her bed, frowning. "I don't know. You've done some crazy
things before, but tomorrow I think about it, and I still can't believe it."
"Believe it," said Cathy. "Because tomorrow 'Elmer Drimsdale' is going out
there to show them how it's done!"
6. Welcome to Macdonald Hill
Saturday was a perfect day for football, brisk but sunny. The game was
scheduled for two, but many of the players were in the locker room by noon.
Hank the Tank Carson was already there, pacing the length and breadth of the
room, a bundle of nerves.
The bus carrying the St. Vincent Junior High Voles arrived an hour and a half
before game time, and Calvin Fihzgart was on hand to evaluate their opponents
as they filed into the visitors' locker room.
"Those poor guys," he said to Pete Anderson, genuine pity in his ferocious
eyes. "They're totally doomed. They have to get on the field against
theroughest, toughest, meanest guy in the whole league!"
"Who's that?" asked Pete absently. He was noting that the other players
looked extremely large, and pretty confident for a last-place team.
"Who's that?!" Calvin growled in disbelief. "Me! The Beast! The one-man
wrecking crew! The tower of evil! The baddest guy alive! The roughest,
toughest "
"Oh, right," said Pete. "I forgot."
Bruno, Boots, and Elmer entered the locker room carrying the Manchurian bush
hamsters in their cage.
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Mr. Carson was appalled. "Almost an hour to game time, and you're playing
with kittens!"
"Elmer's under a lot of pressure to get these bush hamsters out of his room,"
Bruno explained.
"Pressure? What kind of an idiot leans on the star quarterback right before
the big game?"
"Mr. Sturgeon," Bruno admitted.
Carson looked disgusted. "It figures."
"Do you think maybe they could live somewhere in the clubhouse?" Boots
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